In the Driver's Seat -- 3 More Cs of Coaching

It’s time to teach your teenager to DRIVE! (Take a deep breath!) You’ve explained how to drive, shown him how you do it, let him sit behind the wheel, pull into the driveway and drive down the street you live on.  You’ve even sat rigid with tension in the passenger seat with your foot on an imaginary brake, as they cruised home from a mile down the road.

Then, you provided positive feedback: you like how he positioned his hands on the wheel (even though he gripped it really tightly) and you are impressed with his concern about crossing the center line (but are a little worried he might hit a mailbox or a parked car!). What next? 

More Cs!

1.     Committed vs. compliant – you want your new driver to be a defensive driver all the time, not just when you are in the car, or when he sees a police car up ahead.  

·      Make your own commitment. - Show that you are a defensive driver at all times.

·      Making sure your people are committed to the cause. – Talk with your teen about the benefits of good driving behaviors and the consequences of slacking.

·      Doing what is expected all the time and not just when someone is looking. – Model this behavior.

·      Setting expectations and getting people to commit – Agree together to drive defensively and resolve to remind each other when you are not, and what will happen if you don’t live up to the promise.

2.     Compare the difference

·      Gain buy-in. – Talk about your experience learning to drive, how long it took, who was involved, how nervous you were, share your story.

·      Don’t expect people to think the same way you do – we’re all different. Maybe your new driver wants to drive circles in a parking lot, drive mom’s car instead of dad’s, or do some practice in a parking lot before they hit the streets. Maybe it’s not how you did it, but that’s okay.

·      Leave people feeling it was their idea. – Ask the driver to decide what routes to take for practice, what time of day he wants to drive and when you can talk about tweaks to their form, or maybe he wants to practice driving with someone that’s not you!

·      Leave people feeling encouraged not discouraged. – Always end your practice sessions and discussions on a positive note.

3.     Control system

·      The importance of planning. – Determine how you need to prepare for practicing driving, then how much you’ll practice and when so everyone knows what to expect and how to prepare.

·      The importance of follow through on all you do. – Always reinforce good behaviors and make corrections where needed.

·      You can’t be upset with things you allow. If you speed while you are driving, or you don't follow through on your promises, you can’t be upset when your teen does the same!

CCC -- CCC, The Six Cs of Coaching Almost Anything -- In Two Parts

Just navigate to Youtube and type “how to ____”, and you will be inundated with seemingly unending videos posted to coach people to do anything and everything.  It really doesn’t matter if you are coaching coworkers on a new sales strategy; friends on a healthier lifestyle, athletes for competition or kids on how to be good students, bake a cake, or build a fort from blankets and pillow. The principles are the same and they all begin with C.

• Compliments – give them
• Do
• Pick a quality or characteristic to comment on
• Give evidence of why you picked it
• Ask them about it to get them talking
• Don’t
• Be insincere
• Neglect to give evidence
• Be predictable (try different ways, change things up.) e.g., The Compliment Sandwich -- compliment/constructive criticism/compliment

• Catch them in the act
• Allows you to give timely feedback – don’t let busyness, frustration or lack of your own confidence hold you back.

• Coach
• Leave them with encouraging words
• Transfer skills by:
• Explaining
• Demonstrating
• Letting them practice with you
• Observing while they do it on their own
• Providing feedback

See three more Cs next week!

Less Freaking Out

As an airline passenger, there is nothing quite as soothing after takeoff as the pilot coming on the overhead speaker to announce there are “clear skies ahead”. Loosely translated, this means you can read, get some work done, or maybe catch a little shut eye without the worry of being jostled onto the shoulder of the person sitting next to you.

The skies or the road ahead won't always be free of bumps and turbulence, but generally just knowing what's ahead tends to lead to less freaking out and more getting ready. People like having a picture of what's coming up.

“Communication is the great divider,” said NO ONE, EVER. Take a look at this short video which shows you how to provide a view from 30 feet, 3000 feet and your cruising altitude.

Crystal Clear Expectations

Hand Over the Shovel -- Five steps to getting some help around here!

This time of year, many of us wish we could add more hours to the day, or perhaps clone ourselves so one of us could be at the office finishing the year-end reports, one could be shoveling the driveway and a third self could be picking up a few last-minute gifts.

Maybe it doesn’t have to be all you, doing everything, all the time. The next best thing to cloning yourself is taking some of your skills and abilities and transferring them to someone who can carry them out while you are doing other stuff.

It takes a little time on the front end, but the results are amazing. When the new skill is put into place, you will be a rockstar mentor, and your mentee will be bursting with their new accomplishment!

Example Skill: How to shovel the driveway.

Step 1: Explain. Tell them what, why and how to do the skill. Focus particular attention on the WHY. We need to shovel the driveway so we can get food; get to work or school; or go see a friend.

Step 2: Demonstrate. With many skills it is not enough to just tell someone how to do them. Actions speak louder than words. Show them how to start shoveling at an ideal spot, how to scoop and lift the snow, and where to pile it so it’s not in the way. Also, outline the specifics or even walk off the part of the driveway you want shoveled. If just a driving lane is ok, or if you want all of the concrete surface cleared of snow, show them. People will remember what you do more than what you say.

Step 3: Practice with Coaching.  In this step, allow the person to practice the skill, while you are coaching during the practice. Hand them the shovel and let them show you they can do the skill effectively and offer some advice if needed. NO YELLING in this step.

Step 4: Observe. Now, you can check your email or make a phone call while you watch them shoveling. Sweet!

Step 5: Feedback. After you observed, let them know how they did. This feedback should be 80% or more positive feedback, and 20% or less constructive criticism. If they fail at the skill then you failed in the transfer process.  Repeat if needed or marvel at your success!

Under-demeciated?

by B.J.

Windhorst

There are times when writers, including those writing movie scripts, take poetic license and, invent a word to make a point. Under-demeciated is just such a word.

As far as I know, the word was invented for the movie Bedtime Stories, starring Adam Sandler, who uses it to describe to his niece and nephew, how he feels about his job and how his boss neglects showing him gratitude or appreciation.

A few of you reading might be able to relate. And if you can, then you don't have to take a huge leap to get to the next question.

What are some of the main reasons you think people might quit their job?  Is it the pay? Do they start to dislike the company? Can they no longer tolerate the work environment? Or maybe they don't see how they fit in?

These are all valid reasons for quitting a job, but none of them is the primary reason. The U.S. Department of Labor recently conducted a survey of 10,000 employees at Fortune 1000 companies, and the survey said....the #1 reason why people quit their job is lack of appreciation!  Severe under-demeciation if you would ask Mr. Sandler.

The American Management Association estimates the low-end cost of replacing an employee is 30% of his or her salary, while other research estimates 150% of salary to replace a manager or person in a leadership position.

These statistics are financially staggering, but unfortunately issues regarding appreciation are not the top priority of most companies or organizations. Maybe they should be!

If you are a person of influence in your company, what kind of environment do you want to create? Is making your employees feel appreciated a top priority? If you are showing gratitude, how?  Does what you are doing make sense and is it effective?

Here are some ideas for making your team feel appreciated:

• Don't be afraid to stop, and have some fun.  This will let them know you are human, and make them feel more connected to you. Movies, field trips, company picnics... They will appreciate you for these periodic occasions!
• Take the time to know how each person likes to be recognized.  Just ask. They will appreciate your attention to detail!
• Empower your employees!  Give them the autonomy of decision making within their position, this is why you hired them!  Make them feel like they are the experts at what they do, this will instill more confidence in them and in you as their leader!
• Periodically take the pulse of your team.  Use a quick survey and create questions that will do two things for you:  1) give you some information about how they feel about their job, 2) give you some insight on any issues or obstacles of which you were unaware. Pay attention to those who are working late, going the extra mile, or showing an extra dedication to the job.

Here is a link to more ideas from Forbes magazine: 25 Ways to Reward Employees

Employees who feel appreciated are an integral part of a positive, effective, and efficiently productive work culture!  Some of the most notable companies like Orbitz, Scottrade, and Nokia have mastered creating a culture of appreciation for their employees!  Breaking down the old-school mentality which discourages warm-fuzzy types of tactics is a challenge for many companies in the corporate world.  Maybe you can find a way to make it rain gumballs -- it happens in Bedtime Stories.

The bottom line is, happy employees are productive employees!

Happy Holidays to you and yours!

Making It Matter

High school teachers are special people. I remember one who was a real classic. She was incredibly passionate about the subjects she taught: English, American History and World History - and about her profession in general. She put her heart and soul into ensuring her students understood the facts, concepts, and what was expected of them in her class. She knew her value to her students...the young people that would some day be leaders in businesses and communities. An experienced teacher, she had developed a true style that was effective and memorable. Similes and metaphors rolled off her tongue with the greatest of ease. They were used many times over to illustrate her points and many of them stuck with her students. She specialized in history and English and her passion for learning showed through in the way she taught. She continually improved her game through reading and research(before the age of the Internet), but she stuck to her guns when it came to style and personality. She created a brand that was memorable. "Speak softly and carry a big stick," was one of her favorite go-to lines (she loved Teddy Roosevelt). Among others were: "What's good for the goose is good for the gander."  "We raise sheep, we rear children." Inevitably, when something seemed tough, she would chalk it up to "building character." And one of her favorite questions, "Clear as mud?" was used artfully to get students to voice inquiries when they didn't quite understand the day's lecture. She attacked every day with enthusiasm because she knew she was making an impact through her unique style of teaching and the knowledge she was sharing.  This teacher, whether accidentally or on-purpose, knew the answers to some fundamental questions which helped her become the best she could be and kept her from getting bogged down in high school politics, or issues which simply didn't apply. She had created her value premise. Below are 5 questions you can ask yourself to discover or create yours. Keep the answers at the top of your mind, in your work area or at your fingertips daily, to help you establish trust and credibility for yourself and those around you. What do you specialize in doing? What are you really good at that makes a difference in your job? What do you love about it? How do you learn more? How does what you do every day add value? What is your company's mission and how do you fit it? What part do you play? Why does it matter? Who is impacted by your work? Who misses you when you are gone? What goes undone? How do those impacted benefit from your work? Do you lighten someone's load, encourage their creativity or keep them on task? Do you help customers on a daily basis? What is your personal brand? What do people remember about you? How would they describe you to others?   Bottom line, if someone you worked with didn't see you for 20 years, what would they remember about your work or your personal style. Did you speak softly and carry a big stick or were you looking for ways build character?

Starting With Why

It's the question on the tip of your tongue when you walk into any unfamiliar place or situation. 

This weekend, some friends and I visited a brewery originally built in 1842.  Once inside, we were directed down some stairs that led us to the basement. Then we went further underground via a steeply sloping, narrow hallway; and finally a set of stone-carved stairs went deeper still and led us to our final destination. 

Three stories underground in the tiny town of Weston, Mo., was a room, a cavern really, lined wall-to-wall, top-to-bottom and floor-to-ceiling with massive stones. In the present, it is home to an unusual Irish pub. But why, in 1842, would anyone have built such a structure?

If you haven't already guessed, the short answer is beer. It was John Georgian's passion for brewing top-notch beer that had him dig down to build a room where he could store ice from the Missouri River in the winter, and keep it so far underground that it would chill the cellar and keep his barrels of beer (lager) at a temperature below 60 degrees while the amber beverage fermented for at least six weeks.

If Mr. Georgian were alive today, he could market his lager to beer lovers by explaining his why, and then his how, and the what would easily follow. We can learn from his example. Mr. Georgian's answers to the questions we should all ask ourselves and be able to answer, in this order....

WHY?:

Because we want ourselves and other mid-westerners to enjoy a beer like none they have ever tasted.

HOW?:

We built a special cave, three-stories underground, where we can keep the beer cold by storing ice all summer long, while the lager is reaching its peak in the fermentation process.

WHAT?:

We brew a premium lager with smooth drinkability and outstanding flavor.

These questions asked and answered in the order above in any given situation represent a way to think about, understand and communicate what you do at work, at home and everywhere you go.

Starting with the why will engage your audience, strike a cord or a common belief and tune in to a person's feelings or emotions which is the part of their brain they use to make decisions.  It will help you understand yourself and other people and how you relate.

Step back in time and put yourself in the shoes of one of the first master brewers west of the Mississippi. We don't know all of the reasons why John Georgian did what he did. But we can take an educated guess at his Why, and everything else seems to fall into place from there. 

Are you thirsty?

Watch Simon Sinek on Why?